I’ve told the story before about realizing I had made an idol of motherhood, but I’m going to tell it again because I think there are others who may struggle with it, especially as the world seems to be so dark.
As I grieved the loss of our first baby, God made himself real to me in so many ways and showed me so much kindness in the midst of my sadness. However, He also showed me some hard truths I had to face.
Since I was a little girl, I felt so broken from circumstances that I had made myself believe that motherhood would make me whole, by filling some of the voids I felt. God used our miscarriage to show me this lie I was believing, that I had made an idol out of motherhood.
Thank God He showed this to me before I actually started raising kids because that would have left me shattered, thinking this journey could make me whole—anyone with kids would probably agree that if anything, kids break you more than they fix you.
This idol is still something I grapple with on a daily basis. Here are some signs that you might struggle with this idol.
You believe that motherhood should come before anything else.
Motherhood is important. It is vital to do motherhood well but not in a way that would disrupt the order that God gave us for how to live our lives. The order is God first, Husband second, and then children. Anything but God’s way causes disorder and dysfunction.
You’ve misplaced the purpose of motherhood
There is one main goal in motherhood and that is to create followers of Jesus. That’s it. If the goal has changed to provide YOU joy, first you will be greatly disappointed, not because raising kids can bring you joy, but they cannot be the source of your joy. There is one source of joy and that is from Jesus and Jesus alone.
You weigh how well you’re doing off the opinions of others
When Jesus is the foundation, everything begins and ends with Him. No opinion anyone has will shake us, because it will be about what He says is good, right, and true. When we are doing what is glorifying to God, we can rest in the fact that even on our worst day, we are going a good job.
If this sounds like something you may struggle with, theres a few ways to get back on track that have helped me stay focused.
1. Repentance
We can’t do anything without having a repentant heart. Jesus knows the good, the bad, and the ugly, so we may as well be honest with our struggles with Him. Coming to him with repentance for your struggle with this idol is the first step to overcoming it. As you ask for forgiveness, you then ask for help in keeping your focus on Him.
2. Intentionality
Keeping focused on who gave us these children is essential to not creating an idol out of motherhood. That includes using prayer, worship, and intentionality in the time we’re with our children. That means pointing them to Jesus in everything we do. That means showing them the love of Jesus in all that we do. Modeling what it means to be a follower of Jesus.